If you live life without meaning, do you actually live?
I recently learned the value of meaning and why it’s important to have a sense of meaning in life.
I found myself amidst people that our friendship was superficial or based on some sort of benefit. Not going to lie, I knew what I was getting into at first, but did not expect what came out of these friendships.
That’s all I felt. A sinking, disturbing, and painful emptiness that would burned in the pit of my stomach. Burning. There was a fire within me that craved more meaning, more purpose, and just more genuineness.
The fire burned more intensily when I was with them.
I stayed a bit longer and held on to the hope of “things getting better”, until finally I decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
I do NOT want to live a life like this.
What are the “Benefits”?
For some: Academic help, money, sex, companionship, support, or sex.
But here is what benefits really are: “I’m gonna be friends with you AS LONG as we get ______ out of this relationship. Without ______ our relationship will be one we actually have to work for, which is something I don’t want since we’re suppose to gain something out of this. Let’s not take things too seriously, at the end of the day it’s just ______ right?”
Doesn’t sound so nice does it?
Basically when you add benefits to a relationship, whatever they may be, you create a superficial one. Deep down, you know that without those benefits, that friendship just wouldn’t be the same.
In a sad way, you’re now in a relationship that lacks substance and meaning.
Meaningless = Emptiness
Alas, the emptiness.
It almost “fills” you…… if that makes sense. How do you become filled with emptiness? Isn’t emptiness just nothing?
From what I’ve learned, emptiness is this constant feeling of something missing. Not only that, but you constantly crave to fill that emptiness with anything you can get your hands on. Emptiness can devour your insides whole, and no matter how many people you talk to, that emptiness will continue to grow.
You must have meaning in everything you do. Having meaning in life is the same as having purpose. When something is meaningful to you, you will take it seriously.
Look at it this way;
When you are doing something that means a lot to you, there is a sense of fulfillment associated with it. You feel happy. You know that in this moment, your time is spent well.
People don’t like to feel like their time is being wasted.
Now when you are doing something that lacks meaning, that time you spent doesn’t feel well spent. Whether your working, hanging out, or even attending a class, you may gain something, but you will not feel fulfilled.
Of course nothing is a waste of time, as there is always a lesson that attributes to growth in some way. However, when it comes to how I spend my time and life, I’d rather spend it happy.
Steps to Create Meaning
1. Figure out what is meaningful to you.
This is straight forward. Ask yourself if this is what you are looking for. Are in you in a situation that makes you happy or fulfilled? If not, then think about what is missing. What is it that you like and don’t like in this situation. By doing this, you open up your mind to mental awareness. Being aware of your definition of meaning is crucial to creating meaning in life.
2. Time to CUT
CUT IT OUT OF YOUR LIFE. Yes I know it’s hard. But I promise you will not regret it! Remember you deserve a fulfilled life, and life is too short to spend on things that drain you instead of uplift you.
When I started University, I was pursuing a Criminology major. At first I was excited but half-way in my first year I found myself distraught. I did not enjoy criminology as much as I thought I did.
Even with all that, I felt like there was nothing I could do and stayed in that major.
Of course, my disinterest resulted in my lack of motivation in courses which then led to me having undesirable grades. Thankfully, in my second year I took a creative writing course and have never felt more engaged in University. When we had assignments in that class, I started them with a sense of urgency. For once, I was excited to do school work!
I knew that, writing was something I needed to do the rest of my life to feel happy. So I made a decisions and cut Criminology.
3. Embrace The Change
Now that you cut whatever lacked meaning and fulfillment out of your life, let fate take the wheel. Trust that things will work out and embrace the new opportunities that will manifest in your life!
Once I started focusing on things I actually wanted in life, doors started opening. People would reach out to me about my work, and I felt warm. It felt like the sun itself lived within me, and life became bright.
I want you to live the best life for you. Don’t be afraid to start fresh, sometimes that’s exactly what we need.
Thank you for stopping by. Please like, comment, and share this post if you think someone needs to hear this! Much love xx
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